If anyone has questions about getting their dog groomed, then please by all means leave me a comment here so I can get it answered for you.

Today I had to stop working in the middle of the day to go do student registration. I signed up the twins for their year and then went to the older one's middle school for her registration. This is her first year in middle school and she is totally excited about it. She should be . First off her teacher is smokin hot sexy. He looks like a model. She said to me when we left, "Mommy, I'm not missing one day of school." I wouldn't either!!!

I talked to Mr. erm, Handsome and got all the papers, school calendar and he asked me how my daughter was going to get to and from school. "bus more than likely" I said "but occasionally, I'll pick her up or drop her off..."
So he hands me a laminated 8X11 piece of bright blue paper and a sharpie marker. "Write her name in big letters on this and if you do pick her up, stick it in your window...."

So we leave and on the way home she asks me "What's this thing?" about the bright blue sheet with her name on it.

"It's a name tag...."

"For what?" minimom asked me.

"Well, the first day of school you wear it around your neck so people will know you are new and will help you get along your first day....."

"WHAT????I am not wearing that huge thing!!!!"

"don't worry we'll find you a nice outfit to wear that will match it and if you want, I'll buy you some multi colored sharpies and you can decorate it, y know , so it'll be "cooler".....

My husband says that if I make her actually wear it to school he will kill me....

8 years ago, my husband had a short term affair with another woman. It was stupid and lame and he regretted the shit out of it. I moved out with our three small children 800 miles away and really made him work his ass off to make it up to me. Slowly I rebuilt my trust in him. When all was said and done with that mess, I told him that all I wanted was the truth and that if he ever wanted to leave again to tell me before he started sleeping with someone else, so that I could have a heads up and not have to wonder if I had an STD.He promised me that. I never thought in a million years he would ever have to make good on that promise. BUT......

Last year, after a wonderful night out,my husband had his midlife crisis. The next day he told me he had met someone and that although he had not slept with her, he was in love with her and that he was going to divorce me, and move in with her. It was so beyond messed up it was crazy. I really thought he was kidding. We had just bought a house and had just gone through a regime of psychological testing about our relationship. (Another story for another time) This went on for about a month. I was extremely vicious to him and just wanted to curl up and die. Once I got my head wrapped around what was happening, I got a lawyer. Me and the husband went for a ride to talk after I had spent a weekend away dropping extasy and hanging out with friends. ( I don't generally do drugs, I just felt so damned horrid about losing my marriage I wanted to feel good if even for a little while) I got back and we went for this ride up the road. Away from the kids , his constantly ringing cell phone (the other woman) and his idiot best friend, Mr. Yeah do it do it do it.(HATE that guy.)

We got alone and I told him that I accepted his decision. That I had a few requests that I wanted him to grant me, and if he followed through, I would give him a very amicable divorce. I told him that it was summer, and that all 6 of our children were going to be at home. That our three youngest were very upset about the entire thing and that that was not cool. Also he didn't have very much money for a lawyer. I asked that we put divorce and separation on the back burner until the older kids went home and the younger ones were back in school and busy with that to keep them out of it. He would benefit by being able to save up for his lawyer. As for the other woman, I would turn my head as long as he came home at night and was there for the kids in the morning. If he wanted to go with her all day long that was fine but to keep it away from the house until we filed. He agreed. Unknown to him I already had filed divorce papers and was awaiting a court date but didn't want to deal with it until September. He agreed and said that he appreciated me doing this for him. I told him it wasn't really for him. More for the kids sake. Anyways, things went like that for a few days and slowly he started calling me up and telling me that he was confused as to what he wanted. More and more he was unsure if he really wanted to go through with it. I told him I loved him and that if another woman was gonna make him happy then to just go.

A lot of this is a blur because it was extremely traumatic and I didn't eat anything for the entire time. Anyways we ended up reconciling before the end of the summer and we have a pretty decent marriage at the moment.I'm glad because my girls were so happy that we decided to stay together.

But sometimes, I look at him at night and hate him for it. Other times I am glad he's still part of my life and shudder at what it would be like without him. Then other times I feel like pulling the same shit on him to see how he will handle it. I'm just not a cheat I don't have it in me. I love him but sometimes I really hate that I do.

Today will be a crap day.Financially. I have a call list and need to get all the phone numbers so I can call my clients and tell them their dogs are due for their grooms this week. I don't like calling my clients. I'd much rather just rebook them when I go there but I only have a handful that do that.I've offered incentives like 5 bucks off if they rebook. Some people take it.

So today I have 1 dog to groom. A west highland terrier puppy that I have worked on since he was born. I had three but had a last minute cancellation on a groom of 2 schnauzers last night.

2nd week of the month is always bullshit for me.

This weeks short term goal is to get more clients on that rebook schedule by pressing the issue more, and to try to make my grooming routes more gas efficient.

The medium term goal is to get enough repeat GOOD clients so I can start handling these people who do it once a year or wait until thier pets are so matted or gross that they have no choice but to call me. I really can't wait until I can tell them "look, either we start your dog on a normal healthy schedule, I start actually charging you extra for this mess, or you start going somewhere else." Seriously. I am happy with 8 week rebooks on most of my dogs because let's face it I am the dog grooming queen and my haircuts on my long haired dogs grow back slow.But when someone hands me a dog who has mats over it's eyes and shit all over it's tail because they wanted to wait 4 months,THEY SUCK. My time is valuable and if I shouldn't have to spend 3 hours fixing your neglect- not to mention feeling so much sadness for your little furry friend. Trust me, the time I spend grooming these dogs is why I do this. To see them go from in pain, filthy and sad to clean, chipper and happy is AWESOME. What's not awesome is going back 4 months later and seeing them like that again. If these people aren't going to "get it" that they are hurting their dogs, I'm going to start hurting their wallets.

My long term goals for my business are to build a small shop here on the property and work in it maybe 3 days a week, while managing a small fleet of mobile pet grooming trucks driven by my kids until they are done with college, then leasing the vans out to professional "lifers" and only grooming my easiest, most trained dogs until I die.

Anyway almost time to go spend an hour with my favorite lil white terrier.

OK so I've started a billion and one blogs and always end up having people who know me in real life reading them. I don't want that. I HATE that because there's nothing worse than getting a call from your mother, sister, best friend etc that says "read your blog, didn't know you felt that way....BLAH BLAH WAAAAAH." My thoughts people and if I want to write them out loud I will. I may not even say anything bad. It might end up super boring.

For starters let's talk about the author.

First I'm a mother. That's priority one. I became a mom for the first time in March of 1991. I was 18. I was relatively forced into marrying the father or the child by the matriarch of the family. She was old school. She didn't want a bastard grandchild. So I married the guy. We had our first child then a 2nd one a year later. I hated my life. I felt so trapped but not because I was a mom. Because I was a wife to a shit for brains child who was more a hindrance than a help. More about cockeyed Joe later. Inevitably, we split up.

Then I met my 2nd husband. How is a story all it's own. We ended up having 3 more children. One and then twins. All girls. My kids are #1 to me. But here's a twist. I love them all and could not imagine life without each and every one of them. They all have qualities and flaws.

Let's get this out of the way-My two oldest do not live with me. The short story is that I tried to strangle my ex husband in court. Instant custody awarded to him. More on that later.

My oldest son is 17. He's not into the entire family thing. He's distant and can't seem to find himself. He follows trends and craves popularity. He's insanely sensitive and falls in love with every girl he dates and then smothers them to the point where they drop him. He is absolutely stunning with his dark hair and ice blue eyes and is the most responsible kid I have ever seen. He has held the same job now for a year and will be a sr. He is looking forward to graduation so he can go to college.

My next son is 16. He's a writer. A published writer. He wrote me a book of short stories for Christmas one year. He texts me every night with some original way to say goodnight. He had been here the last 6 weeks visiting and his plans are to move here as soon as he graduates from high school. His biggest thing that irks me is that sometimes he takes a joke too far. He's also so deep that sometimes people don't get the humor. Hell sometimes I don't get the humor. He's my black comedy I guess.

I also have a step daughter that I love dearly. Again lives with her mom. I could never be her mom because I have always been her friend. She is extremely intelligent and mature. My only problem with her is that she started her sex life way to early.

Now onto the children that actually live here.

Girl #1 is the oldest of the three. She is a dictator with a HUGE voice. She recently discovered that by making a loud "ahhhhhh" sound she can make the dogs howl. There is absolutely nothing quiet about this kid. She played football. She's a tomboy but has her girl side. She's extremely independent. I have to constantly remind this kid that I am the mom to the other two. We call her minimom.

The older twin is my sensitive sweet healer. This kid is so squishy that her just laying in your arms can put anyone in a coma. She has letters from her previous teachers all the way to 1st grade telling her that they miss her immensely. I was told by one teacher that if everyone was as compassionate and polite as my child that there would be no war. My other children call her "fergie" because she looks likea mini version of the pop star. Absolutely gorgeous....... But if she's having an off day and you look at her wrong, she is inconsolable for hours.

The 2nd twin was our runt. She was and still is Teeny tiny. At 9 yrs old she is still wearing toddler pants as capris. She's THAT skinny. So intelligent though. She can get on this computer and do all sorts of things I have no clue about. She is very outgoing and is in the gifted program at school. She loves the sound of her own voice and talks and talks and talks. She has also inherited the self centered gene that my sister and father have.

So first and foremost I am a mom. 2nd, I'm a wife. But that's like a 10 chapter book. For another time.